The Lover Archetype


The next archetype we meet is The Lover.  The Lover is the natural partner to The Seeker and is another of the 4 soul archetypes.  As with the Seeker, the Lover gives meaning to our life and will explain why we do what we do.

Without love, the soul does not engage itself with life
— Carol Pearson

When we connect with the energy of the Lover archetype it is when we connect with who or what we love and brings us bliss.  The Lover is about pleasure and sensual pleasure and pure Lover energy will love something just because it is pleasurable; it doesn't need to have a purpose!  

If we think about merchandise and brands, then champagne and luxury perfume will be lover brands, as we associate feeling good, a sense of luxury and pleasure, without the thing needing to have a practical purpose.  Most luxury brands, i.e. clothes, handbags etc will appeal to the lover, as practically, the handbag maybe similar to one that is either not branded, or is less expensive; i.e. it is the same size, shape, colour - maybe even the same quality of leather, but the brand is synonymous with pleasure and luxury and appeals to the lover within us.  On a more simple level, an indulgent soak in the bath, with scented candles and essential oils is a lover pastime.

On a personal level, we activate the lover when we find another person (intimate partner), child, friend, parent, who we love and want to spend time with and who we commit to in a relationship.  (Not necessarily in a legal sense, just that we know we value this person and the relationship we have with them).  Someone with high lover energy would also be good in the business arena where building and maintaining relationships is essential.  The lover knows how to relate; understands others and knows how to CONNECT.  The lover is all about connection and commitment.

The person who has a zest for life is exhibiting the lover archetype.

The gifts of the Lover are:  passion, commitment, enthusiasm, sensual pleasure.

The goal of the Lover is:  Bliss and unity.

The fear of the lover is:  Loss of love  ( someone with high lover may put up with being treated badly in a relationship if they fear losing the love).

The task of the lover is:  To follow your bliss and to commit to what you love.

As with all archetypes we can operate at different levels of the lover.  At the lower level lover could show jealousy and obsession with a love object, or be totally self absorbed and have a Don Juan complex.

At its highest level, the lover has radical self acceptance and self-love and a deep reverence for all of humanity and the natural world.  (We could say as yogis, this is what we are working towards?)

If we are looking for a clue as to where our lover comes in, look for what we are passionate about, for what we are ready to commit to.

There is a tension and a natural partnering between the Lover and Seeker.

The seeker wants to take us away from what is familiar.

The lover wants to connects us to the people and things we love.

The seeker doesn't want to commit.

The lover doesn't want to explore.

If someone has a lot of lover and it is not balanced with seeker, they can be totally blissed out, but there is no movement, they can become stale; if someone has all seeker, they are always looking for something better and cannot commit to anyone or anything.

When we balance these two we have the "promised land".  We are are being who we are, and having the freedom to explore that whilst being with who we love and doing what inspires us.