How do we show up?


In my last blog I wrote about "showing up" and I had a couple of people contact me and say, yes that is great - but how do I actually show up.  So I thought I would write this next post about that.

The first question I would ask yourself is:

"How do you NOT show up?"

"How do you hide?"

Whenever we play small, whenever we avoid the limelight, whenever we shy away from making a change in our life that will support us, we are avoiding showing up.

If we find ourselves in "one of those" conversations where perhaps another person or a group is discussing something or giving an opinion and we become aware that we do not share that opinion or we would like to question it. When we shut down, collude or agree, we are not showing up.  When we dare to speak up, to question, to propose a different opinion then we are truly showing up.  

Before I do so, I always take a moment (or 3) to check in with myself and ask myself the following:

1) Am I disagreeing with the person or the conversation?

2) Is this what I truly believe?  Is it my truth?

3) Is this something I have believed for years but as I examine it now - is it still true for me or did it belong to a different version of me?

4) Can I communicate this from a place of being grounded and true to myself?

5) Am I confident to speak up and show up - without needing the other person to agree with me!! (This last one is important to me).  I believe that just because I believe in something, and even if it is a fundamental truth to me - I don't have to try to make others agree with me.

As a side note here - it is worth noticing when we speak our truth and when those who are closest to us or who we spend the most time with (refer back to my earlier blog on Who are your 5) not agree; whilst it may not be our place to try to persuade them to change their view / beliefs / values, if we want to live an authentic life being true to who we are, then this could be a good time to move away from the relationship or friendship and create a tribe around you of people who inspire you and where you share common beliefs and values.

Taking it further,  we show up fully by our behaviour.  Our behaviour and how we hold ourselves at all times (particularly during the most challenging times) is an indication of how we are showing up for ourselves.  Do we talk about the Laws of the Universe, do we do manifestation rituals, worship the sun, moon, other planets, have a daily meditation and yoga practice - but when something goes "wrong" do we instantly fall into shame, blame and comparison.  Do we take part in moaning and playing the victim?  Do we strive for positivity, but actually, realise that we get the most attention when we are the victim and resort to "poor me".  If so, our behaviour is not matching our words.

(Of course, we all have things that happen that can cause us to resort to less than resourceful behaviour at times -that is normal - it is when we go there on autopilot as soon as something challenges us.  Can you stay true to yourself and fully show up - even when things have gone wrong; even when you feel ill, even when you are faced with a challenge?)

Finally how do you show up for yourself, intimately with yourself?  How truthful are you with you when you are alone? That voice in your head, how does it speak to you?

So in summary - I believe the HOW TO for showing up is being radically, unconditionally truthful to yourself first (and accepting that as we grow and transform our truth may change), and then demonstrating that with our words, our behaviours and how we lead our lives.............even when nobody is watching!!