Deeper truths and re-discovering the Amazonian Goddess
I am writing this slightly jet lagged, but feeling strong, focussed, inspired, energised and changed (yet again) by my trip to Bali and I wanted to share some insights and what I am bringing back with me whilst it is fresh and a bit raw.
I love Bali - especially Ubud and would say what is there not to love about it......warm /hot days and nights, lush green rice-fields, friendly locals, ritual as a sacred part of daily life and the opportunity to dive into the arms of Mama Bali - to feel safe and find the courage and inner strength to dive deeper and discover more of who you are, and release old patterns and allow yourself to be changed. This is why I return.
For me being on a retreat is a conscious choice to devote a whole week to myself, to my body, and to spend that time getting more intimate with my souls truth and uncovering another level (or as I was reading in a book on the plane yesterday) unravelling and opening another petal.
Of course I love the yoga, I love flowing, I adore being able to practise with my teacher daily and I am so nourished by being part of an amazing tribe of like minded women - support, collaboration, laughter, tears and hugs. These are all essential components of a retreat and they are all qualities I work hard to create when holding space on the retreats that I run too.
However, the reason for this blog now - is to share some of my reflections from the airport and on the long plane journey home yesterday - or was it the day before - I am in a bit of a twilight zone with what the day and time is right now.
When on retreat, I find I am less connected to my conscious, logical mind and more connected to my soul, to my unconscious mind and to my intuition. In fact so much so, that I sometimes struggle with carrying out simple logical tasks or "thinking". I love this - I just need to show up for yoga at the time it starts, and show up at the table and someone will put (very) delicious, healthy and colourful food in front of me......as busy women juggling family, career etc - I am sure you agree with me how wonderful that is not to think about what to cook, go to the supermarket, go back again because you forgot one key ingredient and bin bags (why is it always bin bags or foil??)...
So back to what I was saying...
I feel that by relinquishing control of my rational thinking mind, and diving deep into my soul - I am open to new truths about myself....I can witness myself, observe how I am seen in a new group and how I perceive others in a group, notice with interest the part I play in the dynamic and constantly check in with myself for a deeper truth to the answer "Who am I" (This is just me - of course some are the same - others go just for the yoga and a rest and that is equally valuable). On this last retreat, I have formed close friendships and bonds with new friends all over the world (mainly from Australia this time) and I know we will all remain close even if we live on other sides of the world as we have shared and grown so much together, held a mirror up to each other, hugged each other as we've cried and rocked together in hilarious laughter.
As I return this time........shedding another level.....I have made the decision to make the choice that is courageous and supports my growth and evolution, over the easy, comfortable, safe choice. There is nothing wrong with the latter and at certain stages in our lives, that safe, comfortable, easy one is the best choice. But for me and where I am now - I know I am being pushed to make the courageous choice. I was challenged on this very thing as soon as I returned home and my instant reaction was to take the safe, comfortable choice - but with my awareness super sensitive right now - I reminded myself of my promise.
I am also committing to ensuring I have a sacred spiritual practice as part of my every day life. This part has grown in intensity over recent years, but at times, when alone I have in the past dismissed it - and wondered - did that really happen, how did I know that etc. When surrounded by like minded friends - I find it easy to stay in that zone but in the past have found it harder to keep that spiritual connection when alone or in groups that are not of the same mind or way of living. In the photo above, I had a very special moment with the priest after the blessing. I *knew* him....I can't explain it - as I looked into his eyes, I just knew that I knew him and I sensed he felt the same. There are no coincidences. I felt as if I floated away from there, blissfully unaware of what was going on around me. I hugged with Delamay and it was in a busy touristy space but I felt a warm glow inside of me and was oblivious to others.
I am committing to yoga in an even deeper way. It has been a major part of my life for many years now - initially it was very physical and I started going for relief from a bad back and to gain flexible and in all honesty get those lovely long muscles that yoginis have....but it has now gone way beyond the asana.
I am also committing to speaking my truth more.......someone said to me once after a class that they sensed I felt, believed and knew a lot more than I shared......and they were right. Initially I kept some of my beliefs and enquiries about yoga, life, spirit to myself as partly I was not confident enough to share what I believed and also I was still getting used to it as it was very different to how I was brought up.......but over the years, I have shared more and I am now ready to do so with another layer....
There is so much more...but I will share just one more thing here. As part of a fabulous Teacher Training module in Bali we were exploring our own movement archetypes and I re-discovered the Amazonian Warrior / Goddess. She had been a big part of my life in my 30's - her strength, power and sense of leadership got me through tough times...but as I grew older and worked more with the Goddesses - she took a back seat. She was still there but in all honesty I didn't value her as much as I was working hard integrating the softer qualities of the Goddesses of Lakshmi (abundance and inner radiance) and Saraswati (flow, wisdom and intuition).....but of course it didn't need to be either /or - I could have both.
So now, I am exploring my relationship to this powerful, wise Goddess and the medicine that she brings. This archetype is the medicine woman, the wise woman, the powerful yet feminine Goddess....and I will be bringing more of her medicine into my work. I wondered why I had always been so drawn to dreamcatchers and why I bought a new mat with dreamcatchers on it!!
I am now about to dive deeper into preparing for my next womens only retreat - Awakening Shakti in Ibiza (May 19th to 25th) where as well as enjoying twice daily yoga flows, ritual, visualisations and more, we will be invoking, integrating and embodying various aspects of the shakti - the feminine power. If you would love to experience this...I have just *3* spaces left on this Boho Luxe retreat in the beautiful North of Ibiza, where we will be served with fabulously delicious and healthy, plant based food and daily superfood smoothies.
Discover inner and outer radiance as you integrate the lost or hidden parts of yourself.
You choose how deep you want to go.
If you would like to learn more - please click here.
If there are 2 of you who would like to book together, please reach out for a special discount.