Vulnerability is about showing up and being seen...
I just love this quote, and I would love to chat more about vulnerability and being seen.
I think it would be fair to say that if we are really truly honest with ourselves, even if we say, "I am who I am," "I am not bothered about fitting in," "it is so important to be true to myself"....that at times we all find ourselves saying something to fit in with a conversation that we are part of; or questioning ourselves: "I don't think / feel / act the same as my friends - is there something wrong with me?"
It is so much easier to fit in! We are adaptive creatures by nature and most of us learn at a very young age how to read a room / read a person / read a situation and know what is required of us. Depending on our personality (or the parts of it that we have allowed ourselves to own) we maybe slip easily into our preferred role - the peacekeeper, the joker, the martyr, the leader, the mother etc. We are often so good at this, that we don't even recognise we are slipping into role, we do it unconsciously and automatically.
Let's press the pause button. Imagine we can slow down life, slow down every interaction and before we act / speak etc we connect in and ask ourselves, in this moment:
"What is my truth?"
"What do I truly believe about this situation?"
"What do I, in this moment, connected to my truth really want to say?"
To start with that is enough - start by being really truthful with yourself and recognising and owning your truth. This includes the beautiful truths and the ugly truths! Let's imagine you would identify yourself as being a nice / supportive / spiritual / compassionate person.......yet in a certain scenario, you observe yourself truthfully feeling envy, unkindness, anger etc.....it could be in the past you have quickly swiped away those emotions and "input" one that you feel is more appropriate, until you actually believe the one that you have told yourself you should be feeling.
Or, let's say you feel these emotions, you own them, but you are not truthful in your words and you say something positive, supportive, but it is out of congruence with what you truly feel and believe you are justified in feeling.
Instead.....what if we sat with those words / feelings and emotions and allowed ourselves to dig deeper and keep asking ourself:
"So what is this REALLY about?"
It is likely that it is nothing to do with this current situation and little to do with another person, but EVERYTHING to do with YOU and with another event in the past that you are projecting onto the current.
Are you ready to take FULL responsibility for you and your life? Are you willing to own all emotions and take the learning from every situation?
When we accept it is never about the other but always about us - we can grow and move deeper into both our authenticity and our power.
Take some time with this......
Then when you are ready..........how vulnerable are you willing to be?
Are you willing to speak your truth even if you know / expect that it will not be accepted (remember this is always a mind read - even though most of us suddenly decide we have psychic powers when we say something like - I can't possibly do that - he will be distraught if I do! We do not know! That is our story.....).
Are you willing to stand up and be you in all of your raw truth and full authenticity?
What is the story you tell ourselves about this and what will happen if you do?
Do we fear that we will be rejected if we stand up and possibly stand out and be who we truly are?
Do we have the unconscious (or conscious) belief that if we dare to show up in all of our magnificence, we will be met with "Who does she think she is?"
More on this next week......as I feel this subject on vulnerability and authentic is massive and it is one that is so important to me - who I am, and the work I do. I am pausing here as before I write the next one on being authentic and vulnerable, I would love to read your comments, observations, thoughts. feelings around this.
Whether you answer me here or just yourself - ensure you fully own your answer! For example, if you have spent any tine in the personal development / yoga world....you will accept the idea of being authentic and real.......but I want you to dig deep and see how much you truly live it, and if there are places and people where you don't, what is the fear?
In the meantime, if you want to read more, I would suggest looking up anything by Brene Brown - but especially Daring Greatly.